Most managers can name at least one conversation they have been putting off. The longer they wait, the more entrenched the problem becomes and the harder the conversation feels. The SBI framework is a practical tool that makes difficult conversations more manageable, not by making them easy, but by giving managers a clear, fair structure to work from.
Why managers avoid difficult conversations
The instinct to avoid a difficult conversation is understandable. Managers worry about saying the wrong thing, damaging the relationship or escalating a situation they were trying to resolve. They worry about how the other person will react. They tell themselves the situation might resolve itself.
Sometimes it does. More often, it compounds. The underperforming team member continues to underperform and eventually requires a formal process that could have been avoided. The behaviour that was affecting the team spreads. The person who needed an honest check-in after sick leave never has the conversation they needed and returns to an environment that hasn’t changed.
The cost of avoidance is paid by the manager, the team member and the organisation. The research on manager behaviour and team performance consistently shows that managers who address issues early have higher-performing teams, lower attrition and better working relationships than those who avoid. Early conversations, even difficult ones, strengthen rather than damage trust.
Managers who delay a difficult conversation typically find that when they eventually have it, they are more emotional, less clear and more defensive than if they had addressed it earlier. The person receiving the feedback is also more likely to be surprised, and therefore more defensive. Early and specific is almost always better than late and accumulated.
What SBI is and how it works
SBI stands for Situation, Behaviour and Impact. It was developed by the Center for Creative Leadership as a feedback model and has become one of the most widely used frameworks for difficult conversations in management training worldwide.
The framework works by separating three things that are often tangled together in difficult conversations: what happened, what the person did and what the effect was. By separating them, it becomes possible to have a clear, factual conversation without it feeling like a personal attack.
Situation
Describe the specific situation you are referring to. Not a pattern, not a generalisation. A specific time and place. “In Tuesday’s team meeting” is better than “you always do this”. The more specific the situation, the harder it is for the conversation to drift into a debate about whether the problem exists.
Behaviour
Describe the observable behaviour, not your interpretation of it. What did the person actually say or do? “You spoke over two colleagues when they were presenting” is a behaviour. “You were disrespectful” is an interpretation. Keeping to observable behaviour removes the argument about intention and keeps the conversation factual.
Impact
Describe the impact that the behaviour had. This is where the conversation becomes real. Impact can be on you, on the team, on the work or on the person receiving the feedback. “It meant the two colleagues didn’t get to share their input, and I noticed they both seemed reluctant to contribute later in the meeting” is specific and observable. It gives the other person something concrete to understand and respond to.
Across 50+ organisations supported by Workplace Mindfulness, the most common request from managers is help with difficult conversations and feedback. It is the skill they feel least confident with and the one with the most direct impact on team performance. Workplace Mindfulness, 2026
How to prepare for and run an SBI conversation
Prepare before you go in
Write down your SBI before the conversation. This is not about scripting what you will say word for word. It is about being clear on the three elements so you do not blur them under pressure. When you are clear on the situation, the behaviour and the impact, the conversation becomes much harder to derail.
Create the right conditions
Difficult conversations need privacy and time. A two-minute corridor conversation is not the right setting. Book a private space and allow enough time for the other person to respond. Let them know the conversation is important without creating anxiety: “I’d like to find time to talk about something that came up in Tuesday’s meeting” is enough to set the context without overloading the other person before you’ve started.
Deliver and then listen
State your SBI clearly and then stop. Give the other person space to respond. The conversation after the SBI is often the most important part: how the other person understands the situation, what was happening for them, whether they saw the impact. That context is valuable and it is only available if you listen for it.
End with clarity about what happens next
A difficult conversation without a clear next step often feels inconclusive. Agree on what you both expect going forward, whether that is a specific change in behaviour, a follow-up conversation or a practical adjustment. Document it briefly, for both parties’ benefit.
What to do when the conversation doesn’t go to plan
Not every SBI conversation goes smoothly. The person may become emotional, defensive or dismissive. Here is how to handle the most common scenarios.
- If the person becomes very distressed: pause the conversation. Acknowledge what they are feeling and offer to continue when they are ready. A short break is not a failure. It is good management.
- If the person denies the behaviour happened: return to the specifics of the situation you described. Do not generalise. If you have another witness or documented example, refer to it calmly. Your goal is not to win the argument but to be heard.
- If the person becomes aggressive: name the behaviour calmly and state that you will continue the conversation when the tone allows. You do not have to proceed in a hostile environment.
- If the person raises something unexpected: listen and acknowledge what they have shared. If it changes the nature of the conversation significantly, it may be appropriate to end and reconvene with HR involved. You are not obliged to resolve everything in one meeting.
These are the scenarios that make managers most anxious before a difficult conversation. Practising them in a safe environment before they happen in real life is the most effective preparation. Our Difficult Conversations programme includes structured role-play so managers can experience the most common scenarios and build their confidence with qualified facilitators before they face them for real.
Give your managers a safe space to practise first
Our Difficult Conversations training combines the SBI framework, real-world scenarios and structured role-play to build manager confidence where it matters most. Delivered onsite or online across the UK.
Enquire about Difficult Conversations